Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Dying of thirst on the ocean

http://www.christopherwalkerart.ca/other_artists/Melton_Dorian/images/rowboat_otterlake2_500x346.jpg
*EDIT: My "quotes" are actually paraphrases (Sarah wanted me to add that since she said I took a lot of things out of context, etc. but hey, that's what I do best!)

Sarah and I were remarking just the other day that we feel richly blessed with many wonderful friends yet, somehow, we often feel that we spend far less time "hanging out" with friends than most. We then went through a litany of reasons why we are not the kind of people who constantly have friends over or spend inordinate amounts of time talking on the phone with our friends. First of all, we're busy:I work, go to school, and have a busy calling; Sarah works full-time taking care of kids, part-time (usually one eight-hour shift per week) at Kaiser, and has a busy calling. But, we figured, those things don't stop others from having friends over a couple times a week or vice-a-versa . We then remarked how we spend quite a bit of time with our families. Both of our parents live relatively close and the majority of our siblings-all of mine and one of her three brothers- are close. In fact, we spend every other Sunday at one of our parents' homes for dinner.

The conversation then turned to whether or not we are "good" friends. Human nature being what it is, we started off naming all of our poorest qualities. "Well, I talk too much sometimes," I said. "Yeah, and I'm trying not to gossip anymore so I'm probably a little dull," remarked Sarah. We talked about pride, the fact that we have a small house, and named a bunch of reasons why we are terrible people. We realized, suddenly, that this whole conversation was a bit off.

"We have tons of friends that we love and if we love them, then they probably love us back, isn't that the way things usually go? We just aren't "hang out constantly" kind of people, and there's nothing wrong with that." We then named about ten people Sarah had seen that very week at the park, etc. and I discussed the fact that I tend to go do things when I see my friends, like fish, skii, watch a movie, or camp with my friends, things that you don't do during the work week or every weekend (I could, but then what kind of dad would I be?). We also realized we had a really fun, unique double-date to eat Indian food and watch "Bride and Prejudice" with some friends planned for that Friday (by the way Holly, you make "da bomb" Indian food<--just imagine "Colly" from the movie saying that in his Indian/Californian accent). At that we laughed and realized how over-analytical we are and realized that most of our friends are just as busy as we are (I'm thinking specifically of you "Mel and Jer"). On a more serious note, however, we made a pact to make sure that we strive always to be charitable, out going people and to make sure our friends do know we love them and are there for them (unless that means actually hanging out with them, JUST KIDDING!). I don't know if other couples ever think about this, or feel a bit like recluses. It's not that we ever feel reclusive, especially since Sarah is out and about at the park, doing pre-school, shopping, taking the kids to the library with her friends, etc. but it's just that we don't "go out" a lot or get a babysitter very often. Maybe that's the norm though for most couples? Actually, I just realized why I personally don't hang out with my friends very much. I made plans to go fishing tomorrow with my buddy Josh but had to call and bail on him at the last minute due to a number of things out of my control. No wonder he texted me, "Im about 2 take ur # off my cel." (; He'd never do that. To make up for my waffling I am definitely going to have to call in sick so we can take advantage of the bass spawn which will begin in earnest in a few weeks.

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

You guys are fantastic friends. Why else would we be flying all the way down from Washington to visit you? (boards have nothing to do with it...) Seriously we are so excited to visit with you guys. Maybe it's just a really busy time in your lives. I remember how excited I was in Colton to meet you guys. When you have kids, finding good friends who don't yet is golden. It's hard to mesh scheduals when you and your friends have kiddos with their own scheduals. Sounds like you both came to the conclusion that you are both cool and have "mad skills" that everyone loves. Can't wait for next Friday!

Familia Bethers said...

What??? You'll make time for the Wilcox's but ditch us? TOTALLY KIDDING! You guys are awesome friends, but most importantly, you're even better parents. I'd say your priorities are straight!

Holly Moore said...

I think the amount of time you spend with other people is totally appropriate for where you are in your lives. Two little kids, busy jobs, not a lot of personal time, you can't always squeeze in everyone. We loved hanging out with you and are excited when we can and understand when you're busy. Jarom and I are recluses and we don't even have the excuse of finding a babysitter. What does that say about us? (=
p.s.- thanks for the props, that was totally fun! I'm thinking it's time to try out a new recipe, maybe a thai one. Then we can watch a thai movie (except that I watched one once and it was so boring, like no expressions on the actors faces, basically a zombie movie without the brain eating) and have dinner. Or just dinner...